


World Without You

by kryptofreak13



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptofreak13/pseuds/kryptofreak13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every life they've shared together.  The King and his Warlock.  But this one is different.  Merlin no longer remembers his destiny, no long remembers his magic.  Can Arthur help Merlin before he is lost forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	World Without You

Arthur’s new flatmate collected mugs. Or rather he allowed the living room to collect them. Without fail any time Arthur left his room he’d find several in all shapes and sizes full of cooled contents on every surface in the flat.

Mostly black coffee, the occasional a lighter shade of brown with remnants of a few drops of cream. Some nearly completed with their last sip remaining, others abandoned after only a few tastes.

It drove him nearly insane every morning. He couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to finish one cup completely. But no, the coffee pot was in constant use, the whole place filled with the fragrance it produced.

Maybe it was because he was hungover. Or perhaps it was because it was raining the day he had made plans to play football. Or again he had woken up to the smell of burnt coffee. Whatever the reason the six mugs scattered among his belongings had been too much for him.

“Jesus Christ, Merlin!” he yelled. “Would it kill you to fucking clean up after yourself?”

The door to the other room opened. Disheveled and slightly red eyed, his roommate stuck his head out. He took one glance around the room before turning to glare back at Arthur.

“Last time I checked this is my place. If you don’t like it you don’t have to stay here. I told Gwaine I didn’t think this was a good idea.”

Arthur could feel the heat creeping up his face. It was true that he had only moved in with Gwaine’s friend after a messy breakup with his girlfriend that had resulted in him being homeless.

Still, he would have thought that Merlin would be slightly cleaner once he no longer lived alone. One would think getting a roommate would mean learning to adapt to others in their space.

“Fine but can you try not to burn down the place?” Arthur remarked.

Along with leaving mugs around Merlin had the habit of making coffee and forgetting to drink it, letting it burn in the pot.

“Oh shit.” Merlin stepped out of his room and dumped the putrid liquid down the sink before starting to make more coffee.

Deciding it was better to just ignore this, Arthur went back to his room to get ready.

“Just a few more weeks,” he mumbled to himself. Soon he and Gwaine would be able to find an apartment together and he would no longer have to live in an environment that forever reminded him of Starbucks.

Once Gwaine could afford to move out of his parent’s house. Arthur would no longer have to live with such an odd person. He should have been suspicious from the start when Gwaine said his friend’s name was Merlin. Not a nickname or his last, but his actual first name. Who names a baby Merlin?

Along with the strange name came a strange personality. Merlin rarely left his room. On the rare occasions he did emerge he barely uttered a word to Arthur, often his head stuck in a book. No one ever called or came over. There were no photos of friends or family in the flat. How he was friends with Gwaine, someone who was loud and flirted with anything that moved, Arthur could not fathom.

All this did not even compare to the screaming at night. The first night Arthur had lived here he had been woken up by incoherent yelling. At first he thought someone was being murdered. It took a few moments of awakened clarity to remember that Gwaine had warned him of this. Merlin often had nightmares. Of what though, Gwaine couldn’t say, but just that they happened occasionally. It was why there had been an opened room in the first place. Merlin had difficulty retaining a roommate. After living there for a few weeks Arthur had no qualms as to why this was.

He was slowly growing accustomed to being woken up in the middle of night to the sounds of screams and cries. It never took long for him to fall back asleep. Still he longed for the day when he could move out.

He took his time showering and getting dressed, hoping the rain would let up. But that would have meant the universe favored Arthur, and lately it only seemed to be trying it’s best to keep him miserable. When the first crackled of thunder came, Arthur knew football was not going to happen. He was just about to call Gwaine when he heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” he shouted, with as much passive aggressiveness he could muster, knowing full well Merlin wouldn’t.

_It’s not going to be for him anyways _,__ Arthur thought. _Fucking hermit._

“Don’t even think about it,” Gwaine growled once the door had been opened.

Despite this, Arthur couldn’t stop himself laughing. Gwaine was dripping wet, his hair stuck against his face. “Never heard of an umbrella?”

Gwaine pushed past him and began shaking his head like a wet dog drying out his fur. “Get me a towel, will yah. Merlin here?”

Arthur rolled his eyes as he walked to the closet. “Where else would he be?” He tossed Gwaine a couple of towels.

“You can at least try and be nice to him. I think if you tried, you’d realize how much you have in common. You’re both stubborn smart asses.”

Arthur ignored the comment. “Tea? Although there’s probably no clean mugs since he hordes them.”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” Gwaine strode over to Merlin’s door and threw it opened without knocking.

“Do you have to do that?” came Merlin’s annoyed voice from the room. “Hey. Ow. I’m attached to that.” Both Gwaine and Merlin entered the living room, the former unwillingly dragged by his arm.

“We are going to a pub and, you Merlin, are going to leave your cave and come with us.”

“Gwaine it’s like three in the afternoon.”

“Plenty of time then to drink.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “It’s also pouring.”

“Well, good thing the alcohol is inside.”

“Might as well give in,” advised Arthur. “It makes life so much easier.”

“And more fun. Come on mates.” Ignoring Merlin’s protests, Gwaine shoved him through the front door. Arthur grabbed and umbrella and followed behind.

The benefit of living in a university town was that there were plenty of pubs within walking distance, so they didn’t bother flagging down a taxi. Once they arrived, it was apparent that only Merlin held the belief it was too early for drinking. The pub wasn’t full, but it was relatively crowded. Although Arthur noted that might have been more due to the fact midterms were creeping up next week. They managed to find a table by a wall that was entirely adorned by shelves of different colored glass bottles.

“Hey relax, mate,” Gwaine remarked to Merlin as they sat down. Arthur was glad he wasn’t the only one who had seen how strange his flatmate had started acting the second they walked in. Merlin’s hands were shaking. His eyes kept darting around, frantically searching for something.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, focusing his attention back on them. Arthur noticed that his hands continued to shake. “Just feel sick all of a sudden.”

“A pint will fix that.” Gwaine gestured to a waitress and began to order, or rather hit on her. Once it grew obvious that Gwaine was going to flirt longer than his usual ten seconds, Arthur turned his attention to Merlin.

The guy was still glancing around the room, watching the people at the other tables Arthur could hear his foot tapping nervously under the table. As his gaze swept the room, Merlin’s eyes met Arthur’s.

Once when he had been younger he had shocked himself plugging in a toaster with a broken cord. The electric shock had been minor, but his hand had continued to tingle for several minutes afterwards.

That was nothing compared to what Arthur felt once he and Merlin locked eyes. He felt as if his heart had stopped. As if everything had stopped. It must have been evident on his face because Merlin raised an eyebrow at him, confused. If Merlin had felt something similar, he didn’t show it.

_Don’t be stupid _,__ Arthur thought, breaking the eye contact.

Of course Merlin hadn’t experienced a similar shock. Or even triggered the reaction. Arthur rationalized that it had been a weird fluke, just in his head. Maybe some brief panic attack? It wouldn’t be the first time.

Gwaine was still flirting with the waitress, so fortunately he was oblivious

Merlin was no longer paying attention to Arthur, but had resumed observing the pub. His hands had stopped shaking and he had begun tapping on the table. As Arthur watched his tapping increased rapidly, almost with a sense of urgency.

What was wrong with this kid? Was he afraid of being out in pub-?

CRASH

Several patrons of the pub screamed in reaction to the noise. Everyone fell silent as they tried to locate the source of the noise. Several of the shelves had collapsed, their contents shattered. Luckily it was in a space where no one was occupying the tables. Still, the multicolored glass was strewn across the floor. Several employees, including the girl talking to Gwaine, rushed over to deal with the damage. As the noise level returned to normal Arthur shifted his attention back to Merlin.

He froze, noticing something.

Were Merlin’s eyes-?

He blinked. No, he was imagining it. But he could have sworn-

“Damn, I was just about to get her number,” swore Gwaine, bringing Arthur out of his thoughts

“You always say that, Gwaine.”

Merlin stood up abruptly. “I’m gonna head out. Don’t feel so good.”

“You okay mate?” Gwaine surveyed Merlin.

“Yeah I’m just dizzy.”

“Probably all that coffee.” Arthur hadn’t intended for the comment to have a bite to it, yet it came out that way.

“Whatever. I’ll see you later, Gwaine.”

As Merlin left, Gwaine reached across and hit Arthur on the shoulder. “Why do you have to be such a dick to him?”

Before Arthur had a chance to answer two full pints of foaming beer were placed on the table.

“Sorry folks,” spoke a smooth voice. “Everyone is getting one on the house for the mess.”

Arthur glanced up. It was a different waitress than the one from earlier. She beamed at him, but he couldn’t help but notice it didn’t reach her green eyes.

“Thanks,” he stammered.

He needed to get away. Needed to get away from her. Needed M-

“Anytime, hun.” She smiled again, this time with sincerity. His bizarre panic evaporated as quickly as it had arrived. “If you need anything else, just let me know.”

“Smooth.” Gwaine chuckled once she was out of earshot. “One would have thought you’d never seen a hot girl before.”

“I think I’m still hung over from last night.” The excuse sounded lame to his own ears, but Gwaine appeared to accept it.

As Gwaine prattled on about some girl in his chem lab, Arthur barely paid attention. He peered over at the bar where the waitress was wiping down glasses. Her raven hair fell in front of her face and she stopped to pull it up into a bun. As she did she caught his gaze. For the second time that night he felt a jolt of electricity, the hair on his arms sticking up. She smirked, almost knowingly and returned to cleaning the glasses.

What was wrong with him tonight? He turned back to Gwaine who unsurprisingly hadn’t noticed anything and did his best to ignore the unnerving sensation in his stomach.

 

xXx

_Nothing hurt. Everything burned, yet there was no pain. Why didn’t it hurt? Wasn’t dying supposed to be painful? He had seen so much death. Lost so much. Caused so much pain. It was only fair that he should feel that pain. Why should he be spared?_

_Someone was calling his name. He knew that voice. Knew he should respond, but couldn’t._

_Where was the pain? It had hurt the first time._

_“Arthur!” Someone was holding him. “No! I can’t keep losing you like this. Stay with me,” the voice was pleading through sobs._

_He closed his eyes and the crying stopped._

_But the yelling began. All around him were screams. They filled the air, filled his head. This was his fault. They were dying because of him. He was supposed to save them. Was meant to save them. Why couldn’t he? He had returned for them. Why did this keep happening?_

_He opened his eyes._

_“I’m not going to lose you.” The voice from before. He was being held. Blue eyes filled with tears were staring back at him, wide, frantically searching for any sign that everything would be okay._

_“Just. Just hold me. Please.”_

_The grip on him tightened. Tears were streaming down his own face. They felt like ice compared to the heat that was spreading through him._

_This time it hurt._

_“There’s something I want to say.”_

_“You’re not going to say goodbye.”_

_“No Merlin…”_

Arthur woke to screaming. He sat upright in bed, his head and heart pounding. But it wasn’t the screams of the battlefield. Just of the one person who had been there in all his final moments. The person who in this life had been a stranger.

From the next room Merlin’s cries faded into mere whimpers, until they too died off.

How in this life could he have forgotten? Forgotten his true self, his true purpose.

More importantly why now did he remember?


End file.
